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15 June 2008 @ 07:34 pm
I was pacing like mad earlier, but now I'm just sitting, fidgeting like usual when I'm nervous.

Everything felt odd. Being in Seamus's arms again. Seeing my brother. Aly.

Two years... and everything felt right again in seconds.

But there is one person I want to see more than anything. One little girl who I've missed so much and from one picture apparently has grown so much in two years.

We came back to Ireland in the early morning, quietly. My cousins and Aly had already gone through the land and house and put up stronger wards and such. Seamus wouldn't let go of me and only did when Nicolas needed to talk to him.

But right now... the only thing on my mind is my daughter.


How will she react when she sees me? I don't think I could bear it if she turned away from me. But I wouldn't blame her.

Aly is bringing her over, and right now I'm sitting on a couch, twisting my wedding ring on my finger around, in general fidgeting. I want to hold my little girl. I want to hold her and never let go.

What seems like forever, Aly walks in with someone hiding behind her. When she pokes her head out I can see it's Keena.

I stop fidgeting, feeling my stomach twist now. The light coloured hair... the green eyes...

"Keena?" I say her name softly.

She just clings to Aly's leg and looks up at her. Aly leans down and whispers something to her. I hear the word mum and love. She then brushes a lock of hair behind Keena's ear as she take another look at me. "Mummy?"

I want to reach out to her, but I don't want to scare her. As it is, she's not letting go of Aly. I have a feeling the past two years, Keena's probably looked to Aly as her mother. Not that I blame her. Two years is a long time for someone so young as Keena.

"Yes," I tell her, sliding off the chair and onto my knees on the floor. Trying to hold back the tears. Already cried enough the past few days. "You've gotten so big, Keena."

"Go on, Keena," Aly whispers to her. Keena loosens her grip slightly, but not completely. "It's ok," Aly assures her, rubbing her back.

Keena looks back and forth between us for a moment before running to me. "Mummy!"

I wrap my arms around her, just as she collides into me, and I close my eyes, inhaling the shampoo smell in her hair. I haven't held my baby girl in so long.. I feel tears start to prick my eyes. "Hey baby," I whisper.

I hear Keena murmur something, and I just hold her. I then hear a why come from her.

"Mummy ran into trouble," I tell her. "Had to go before the trouble hurt you."

"Is trouble gone?" she asks, sniffling.

"A little bit baby. But not all of it. But that doesn't matter right now. Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry I left. Mummy missed you so much."

She snuggles into me and says, "I missed you too, mummy. Don't leave me again. I'll be good."

My heart breaks at her thinking that she was bad. "You're always good baby girl. You didn't do anything wrong. I won't leave you again, I promise." I kiss her hair, then her cheek. "Mummy won't leave you or Daddy again. " I look past Keena to look for Aly, but from the lack of her, I think she stepped out. "Want to tell me what you've been up to? Fill Mummy in on everything."

She nods eagerly and tells me of Seamus reading stories and singing lullabies. Aly taking her to the park and spend the night parties. Her last birthday. I've missed so much. I take her into the living room with me, cradling her in my arms as we sit on the couch, trading stories back and forth.

Missing two years of my baby's life...

Like I said to her earlier, I'll never leave her again.
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Current Location: home
Current Mood: relievedrelieved
hrelube750 on February 17th, 2013 12:34 am (UTC)
I'm alone and online Go Here welcomemyhomecat.blogspot.com